Fighting The Darkness

It’s cold here

Deep within the pit of my dispair

It’s lonely here

Backed within the corner of my rage

I can feel it more strongly now

So much stronger than before

The resentment

The disappointment

The darkness

This shattered reality I am forced to bare

The overwhelming sadness for all that is lacking in my life

Followed by the overwhelming shame for feeling ungrateful for all that I have

It is in times such as these 

As I lay here alone with my thoughts

That I find myself consumed with longing 

Longing for all that I have lost and all that never was

I begin to wonder

I think about lost love and why it never seems to work

Even when it feels so right 

It ends up being so wrong 

And I worry

Will I ever find truth?

Will anyone ever mean what they say?

Will anything ever be real?

My heart beats heavily within my chest

Weighing me down with every breath

Tears journey down my cheeks 

Shedding painful memories of the past

In this moment 

I am weak

In this moment 

I am human

And in this moment 

that’s okay

Advertisements