Ms. Misunderstood

Lonely was the language of my heart.

So please forgive me when I don’t know what to say

How to act

Or how to play

With you.

I’m not used to being cared for

Understood

Or even wanted for that matter.

These feelings of affection & kindness

Frighten me

For I treasure them all too much

Craving them in the dark

Longing for them in the day.

I never thought I wanted this

But now…

I can’t think of anything

I’ve ever wanted more

Than you.

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Just SometimesĀ 

A part of me wishes I wasn’t here

On this earth 

Surrounded by all these humans

Misunderstood 

This tragic little mess of me

A part of me wants to run away

To leave this world

And not to face another day

I am exhausted

Tired of wearing this mask 

Hiding the broken pieces of my soul

Pretending that I am not falling apart

Assuring everyone else that everything is okay

When sometimes…

It’s not okay

I’m not okay

There are moments 

When all I feel is hollow

Empty inside 

Destroyed

Damaged 

And dismembered 

There are times 

When all I want is to be held

To be told that I matter 

Assured that I am worthy

Even if it’s just for a moment

I want to feel as though I won’t always have to walk alone 

But that would mean removing this disguise

Revealing to the world

That I am among the strange

That I don’t belong here 

And so…

Once again 

I muster up the energy to continue this masquerade

Holding it together 

When all I want to do is fall apart