Let me tell you a little something about me to help you from getting those precious feelers hurt the next time I do me and it gets in the way of your expectations.
99% of the time, my actions will neither be the result of yours nor rooted in anything outside of my own narcissistic intentions in the pursuit of well being.
Begging for my attention will send me running in the opposite direction as I have no time in my life for codependency.
And furthermore, asking if I am alive, will make my skin crawl…a sign of needfulness, I am sure to avoid.
You will rarely hear from me daily and it has nothing to do with you.
At times, I cannot be bothered…there is just so much left to do.
It is not that I don’t hold you as a priority, but rather the I am higher on my list.
I have spent a life time getting there and I refuse to go back now.
For once, I know my own self worth and for once, it does not depend on the validations of another.
I am not someone who craves social interaction, if anything, I avoid it.
What I do crave is intelligent conversation, the exchange of information with another inspired soul.
Someone who challenges me to continue moving forward, no matter what the cost.
I am secure and content in my own company and I find most cases of engagment with the masses to be unnecessarily exhausting.
Killing the world with kindness is tiresome to say the least.
Keeping up appearances, even more so.
And it is for that reason, I have no problem turning off my phone.
In fact, if I am being honest, I am not a fan of talking on the phone at all because I can’t stand being stuck in one place and in most cases answering means stopping the music and messing with my flow.
If you are someone I enjoy long chats with consider yourself one of the chosen few. I must truly care for you.
And when I seem to pull away, know it is most likely nothing on you.
I tend to tip toe along the outskirts of this world, pressing my face against the glass, as if to observe the creatures inside.
I much prefer it here…floating among the clouds.
Below, can feel so small…such a little fish in such a big pond.
But above, it’s only me…no one else fighting for my time.
It is where I retreat when the lights grows dim and a place that feels more like home than anywhere else I’ve been.
So believe me when I say, it’s not you, it’s me.
Remember, don’t take things so personally.