Playing With Knives

It tickles and prickles.

Gliding slowly along my skin.

The crispness of the blade piercing my flesh.

The need is growing stronger,

The yearning taking hold.

I desire to be damaged,

Fearing only he may know the way…

I like it.

How I long to be driven mad with passion,

To be taken.

Without warning.

Strangled and restrained,

By the one who once held my heart.

His fetish my reflection,

Shared darkness our bond.

 

For wicked is his poison,

That dances on my lips.

Drizzled bits of ecstasy,

Dripping ever so delicately over my tongue.

 

How I wish to find him hiding,

Somewhere away in the dark.

Ready and willing,

To give up the fight.

 

To prove me wrong,

 

But he won’t.

 

To show up unannounced,

Disturb my foundation,

Unsettle my core.

 

But he won’t.

And that’s okay.

 

I hold no hope for romance,

After all, I’m not a child.

For the eyes of a man can be telling,

And the words of a man deceiving.

To him,

I am no more,

Than familiar.

A comfort.

A friend.

A willing party,

Away from the war.

Another broken soul,

With whom to shed the mask.

And besides,  I’ve never found a lover,

Man enough, to tame this wild.

 

 

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Allusive

The quiet makes me quiver

As I slowly fade to dust

No one is listening

No one is here

Alone

Caught between a memory

And the hope for something more

Reaching out for comfort

Yet allusive in my words

If only

I possessed the courage to say

I need a friendly shoulder

Before I lose control

This world that I exist in

Is shaking at its core

And I

Just a lonely traveler

Stranded beyond the physical

And something in between

Broken language

Breeds bitter tears

As I surrender to the dark

Disappointed

Broken hearted

But wiser just the same

For I have had this feeling

Too many times before

So familiar

Like razors on my skin

And so

I disappear

Running from the prospect

Of another broken wing

Mindful Surrender 

Bitter sweet deception consumes my mind.

As this fruit of hope dances on my tongue.

I’ve been here before.

Standing on the edge of this emotion.

Arms spread wide, eyes sealed tight,

And I tumbled.

Collapsing into an abyss of unrequited desire.

Left alone in the darkness.

Cold and defeated.

Reminded that perhaps, I was never meant to be loved.

 

And so, as the prospect of something magical returns, I hold myself away.

Trapped somewhere between love and fear.

It is a warm place, where the shadows keep my cravings for him at by.

As the scars on my heart advise me to stay.

And stay I shall.

Locked inside the prison of my own mind.

Conveniently disregarded.

Waiting…for someone

To fight for love.

Someone, for once

To fight…for me.