Worst Critic

Have you ever wished you were someone else or maybe just a more improved version of yourself? I can’t remember a time in my life when I didn’t and I am sure I am not alone.

And, I am sure we could sit here all day and argue about how one gets into that sort of mindset, but that will only invite more of the same self defeating vibration, so let’s not.

Instead, I want to know once and for all, how it is that one may break these patterns of thought and allow themselves to be content with their imperfections, ALL OF THEM!

There is a long list of things I don’t like about myself or wish I could do better, but after another episode of feeling uncomfortable in my own skin, it dawned on me that if I were only able to conquer the demon of self doubt and find acceptance of my full self, it would eliminate all these ill feelings I have about my physical appearance.

And wouldn’t that be an amazing existence…

I am tired of feeling like I am not thin enough or self conscious about the many other nuances that come with age.

I hold myself up to these absolutely unrealistic standards of what beauty is and as a result I continually feel like I am less than.

And enough is enough!

From now on, I am going to do my absolute best to try changing these patterns of thought.

And when asked what I would change about myself if I could? My reply will be to possess the ability to love myself just as I am.

I am not sure just how yet, but I have a feeling that trying to see myself through the eyes of my closest friends and family just may be the ticket.

When my boyfriend looks at me he doesn’t see what I see, not in the slightest. He loves me just as I am, as I do him.

It’s time I listen when he tells me I am beautiful and more importantly, it is time I start telling myself.

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Silly Little Optimist

You silly little optimistic girl.

Did you really think it would be different?

No one will ever love you.

Not with their whole heart at least.

Perhaps the mystery in your eyes will lead them to ponder…

To wonder…

What it would be like…

To love you.

But as with everything, that will surely fade.

You were not meant to be loved my dear.

There is no peace for you here.

No happiness.

No joy.

Loneliness; the only thing that’s real.

So walk or better yet, run

Far away from it all.

Go dark

Go distant

They won’t notice

Here today, gone tomorrow

 

You never meant a thing to them.