As the sun comes back around, my memories of him and I in summer begin to fade. As the season fills with new I find myself making my slow escape from the past.
I am feeling more free now, with every passing day.
Hope is no longer my muse, I am my own inspiration.
My almost lover, I bid you farewell.
As I shed this cloak of insecurity you affixed so firmly to my back, I am reminded of the person you failed to see.
Strong, confident and centered.
A place I can only be without you.
When winter falls I shall have come full circle, replacing every season of your memories with the seasons of change.
What a wonderful place this will be, to finally be over you.
In a world that is already filled with a great deal of uncertainty and heartbreak, why do we put ourselves in situations that shake our very core of stability and lead us to feel more lost than we ever knew was possible?
What is the point? Life in itself is difficult, tragic, and painful enough without us making a contribution to our own feelings of neglect and disappointment. It’s more than sad. It’s self-destructive and pointless.
But we still do it.
Maybe it is the intensity of false hope placed on us as children that someday there will be a happy ending. An idea forced upon us in fairy tales and G rated movies where good always triumphs over evil and against all odds true love prevails.
No wonder we are disappointed and depressed by the real world once we are old enough to understand that it is all a bunch of bunk! Maybe for some, it all works out and everyone lives happily ever after, but for most, love does not prevail and in many cases it isn’t even true. Good does not always win and sometimes the pure evil is never forced to face consequence.
Children are so innocent and the hope is to shelter them from unnecessary pain and fill them with hope for their future. In my personal opinion, this is the opposite of preparing them for what really lies in store as they become a part of this not so perfect world.
Whether the disappointment we feel relates to love, spiritual growth or personal fulfillment, the result is the same; a depressed reality set on auto pilot in the hopes we are able to make it through the day.